Dutch C***-Block

The little bro and I made a trip to Pablo Neruda's house, La Chascona, during his visit a week ago. It was on that day that I would be on the receiving end of an unexpected and incredibly powerful Dutch cock-block. From earlier experiences I should've known that strange things go down at La Chascona. This time I was praying my English-speaking guide would be moderate, if not uber-guidy. Fernando was all these things and more. I've been in Stgo going on 7 months now and must say that Fernando is the most attractive dude I've seen yet. An attendant led us down some steps, opened a door, and from the mystical portal of the "Guide´s Lounge" Fernando emerged, resplendant yet understated in the museum fleece and Manu Chao-esque scarf. I took it all in quite straight-faced as if I saw this type of male beauty all of the time. The two Dutch chicks that rounded out the tour group turned all types of burgundy and mauve.

What followed were 45 minutes of gushing, drooling, and bouncing. Fernando would start pointing out furniture and the Dutch chicks would giggle uncontrollably while asking personal questions. One highlight was the response a panther painting produced. "What's so funny" Fernando asked. "Oh, he looks like he's smiling! With his lips, so very happy!" Dutchies responded. Maybe they were high, maybe it's just their European-ness, or maybe the space wasn't big enough for their sloppy game to be thrown around. By the time the tour was over Eric and I took a courtesy picture with some outdoor rocks and bolted for the door. Fernando squirmed away from the Dutch chicks to show us the exit. But with my brother towering over me like a chaperone and the Dutchies quick on Fernando's heels, all I could do was say thanks, leave, and marvel at the potency of the Dutch cock-block I had just been served.