choices

If my life were an 80's song, would it be Duran Duran's Rio or Toto's Africa?

Scenario 1: So I'm a yuppie. Hard core, beamer-driving, Reagan-loving, Gekko-worshipping, over-sized shoulder padded yuppie. I don't do cocaine, because just like cigarettes and coffee, it'll stunt my growth. I have a job that made going to college a glorified cocktail party, utterly useless but entertaining. I wear pearls and a perfect Princess Diana hair flip. I've wasted cans of starch on my collars and have yet to fold one down. I harbor dreams of becoming a third-grade teacher to mentally challenged kids but instead I drink a highball and play squash. Feminists makes me giggle, but I'm glad they got me this far. I'm going to marry an important person so I can quit my fake life and become part of a larger one. As long as I live in LA or NYC, I'm fine. Everywhere else, just like everyone else, is useless, boring, and sad. I'm never sad. Nor am I ever very happy. I do get a special stomach flip every time I listen to Rio. I'd like to be Rio one day, as long as I get the keyboardist.

Scenario 2: I'm a librarian in the suburbs. I was cool in the 70's, which I spent wasting away, high and numb in my rec room. I was cool at the time. I don't know what it's like to be cool now. I woke up one day and everyone wanted money, fame, and beauty. I have none of these and I'm not sure I could get them even if I wanted to. I need to go somewhere where people will think I'm cool and maybe along the way I can help people or something. Then I'll come back and everyone here will be smaller and stupid in the light of my incredibly philosophical and altruistic journey. I wish I could put people on mute or at least screen them, edit all vapid thoughts they verbalize, and allow them only to speak about deep things. "Maybe none of us have deep thoughts", I think sometimes. Which is why it's imperative I go somewhere far away and exotic, so I can develop some deep thoughts. That's why I'm going to Africa. I love Africa, which was totally written for me. To long for a place I've never seen, this is so perfect. I'll learn to play a tribal flute and maybe meet a safari guide or someone like Robert Redford.